literature

Three notes for you when I die

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Milk-and-Pie's avatar
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Literature Text

I, Don't cry
I don't want you to cover yourself with your duvet at 3 am and bite your lips until they bleed so that no one can hear you sobbing. I don't want you to tell everyone my life story with your eyes burning with streams of rivers and knowing I will never be there to wipe away your tears again. I don't want you to write a million of poems to my death, and make me up into the girl with millions of triumphs because I'm not and I never will be.

II, Don't romanticise
I don't see how beautiful it is to have my flesh scorched in the core of the Earth, or my hand turning blue and eyes scratched by millions of insects. I don't see how I could be compared to the mountain breeze or the ripple in the rain when all I am now is an inanimate cold rotting body with millions of crawlers on my lungs digging into me.

III, Don't hope
I want to tell you that I will be the autumn wind caressing your pale cheeks, or the ethereal ray blossoming your skin into different hues of sun break. But I'm really scared that I won't be, I'm scared that a tornado will sweep you away and throw you into bruises and wounds, that tsunami will drown you in abyssal ocean of tears. And I don't want to hurt you again.
I'm not going to die or kill myself, it's just some thoughts that had been lingering in my mind for quite some times, and it wasn't beautiful or pleasant. It's really ugly, but I really want to voice them out and just listen what my mind said all these times. 

Thank you so much for browsing, have a lovely day. 
© 2014 - 2024 Milk-and-Pie
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naturalbornkiller198's avatar
Im pale now because im of german decent and its winter, my body is strong even with the emotional pain, I live in the cold mountains as they are my church and refuge, my two new friends actually do help me a lot, they trust me with thier lives instantly because they see me as i am and not some delusional dream like you, I always said that worldy success meant shit, its nothing especially in the end, I praised hyou for your ability to have any light after going through what you did, and hating yourself for percieved sins or moral failures, there is no lake of fire or hell, there is only the unkown of our conscience living outside the body, I dont cry for you very often anymore but when i do its cause i know you are cold and hungry and living in a horrible enviroment, you have done things to further your self hjatred that dont affect me like you think they do, its not lie i didnt have chances too but feel fake love for every damn woman that flips her hair at me, then get used or realize the guy is not for you putting it nicelly, dont fear for me i was born to be tough and survive, a drug overdose is just a vaction when im sad, and falling down a ravine the other day didnt kill me either, what you have done is paint a portriat of what will likely be your end thats why i have to save you, but should you go you will remind me of my mountains and clifs and freezing waters, all lovely things yet deadly and man isnt meant to survive there, but i do and i will and ill survive you too, all my love